Who's louder?

I needed to transpose my feelings somewhere you know
I was struggling with some things and my only escape was my music

Loads of shouts and screams in my head
I need to get out of here alive or dead
A way outta my brain, where is the exit?
I need to escape, yeah, to ease my head
I need to release my own thoughts
Need to free my own soul, let myself flow be and grow
Let myself morph and reshape like water
'Cause all of this loudness is getting me loneliеr, hey

I'm needing something to hold me, 'causе I feel lonely
'Cause there is not a home when it is stormy
Everything's too loud but I can't stop it
Spitting feelings in a song, might help to lock this
Why are you arguing? Can you all just stop, please?
I'm running upstairs to hush my pain with some beats
And I go like this, I start to write some lines
I start to creep me out, got a lotta shit to think about

What I need? What I feel? I mean who am I?
I'm craving for answers deep into my mind
But then I start to overthink way too much
Family term they say, but we are far away from it
Divide and conquer shouldn't be the frame for this
But sadly now, it's all I see
But sadly now, it's all I feel
Emptiness is my new company

Let me see who's louder
That's the motto in my home
Let me see who's louder
Always the same in these walls
Let me see who's louder
That's the motto in my home
Let me see who's louder
Always the same in these walls
Some nights I can't handle this anymore
And sometimes that's why I overdose
And sometimes I can't cope with it no more
Just please just hush

Nah nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah

They raised me since I was a young baby
I was trying to learn and speak my own language
I was trying to walk, now I am crawling instead
If only that would change, I would ask myself if something would be different
But why the hell? If it's all the same
I heard the stories aren't written yet
That we are the writers, that we shape the end
At least is what people used to tell, hey

Skeptical thoughts 'bout my life as a teen
Suicidal thoughts at the age of 14
They sent me to therapy after all that scene
I didn't believe in God, I never pray for me
I solved my own problems, talking in within
Where the conversations went more aggressively
Ending always washing away my head from my sins
But sometimes they were so hard that ended backfiring at me

And If I lay back and listen back to all those shouts
If music wasn't there, I wouldn't make the last round
Always seeing who was louder was the main tag
I remember a younger me couldn't take all that
The only way of going out was to rap, rap, rap
Self medicating was an option to escape some time
At that moment, all I need was silence inside my heart
Everything was too crowded, I promise it was too loud

Let me see who's louder
That's the motto in my home
Let me see who's louder
Always the same in these walls
Let me see who's louder
That's the motto in my home
Let me see who's louder
Always the same in these walls
Some nights I can't handle this anymore
And sometimes that's why I overdose
And sometimes I can't cope with it no more
Just please just hush!

Some nights I can't handle this anymore, yeah
Sometimes I feel I need some overdose, yeah
Some nights I'm feeling like I'm so alone
And maybe that's the reason why I did this fucking song
I wish I hadn't have to hide things from them you know
I wish I hadn't have all those screams in my head
I wish I hadn't have all those thoughts in my head you know
But every big wall is built on rusted foundations
You know how it is, yeah, hey! Youngwiz baby!