You are Pitiful, I'm Giant

It's been over six months but I still hear those words
After all this time all the scars I have still hurt
Replaying conversation in my head now I feel worse
At this point nowadays my dream car is a hearse
I've been rehearsing my funeral for years at a time
Only respite I receive is typing out these rhymes
I've been having makeshift therapy
Over vodka and a lime
Stopping myself before white lies turn to white lines
I've doing just fine I'm just kidding I'm dying
Every time I hear your name fight or flight is screaming "fire"
I've been trying to expire, fucking shit I am tired
I've been to rewire my brain but it requires
Finally unearthing all these feelings I've been hiding
Divining is inviting but I know I'm not excited
To go back back to the fighting, search for subliminal writing
Finding comfort in defiance,
You are pitiful I'm giant

I've been down so long
And if you hear this song
I've just one thing to say
It's fuck you, so run away

Recovery ain't linear but it's always going upward
Mc Escher stairs I've been aware that we all suffer
Growing up I didn't understand love ain't a cuss word
It's a beautiful experience but to get there you have blunders
I've been gaslight my whole fucking life
I'm on fire, I've been burnt too many times
I've been trying to unwind these pre conceived notions
Made me cry so many times, I could fill a fucking ocean
As soon as you arrived I was going with the motions
That's just my experience, it's all that I know shit
And you knew that, you took advantage
Of the fact I was wounded, you assumed that I was damaged
And assumption's were correct, but that ain't changed what happened next though
After our last fight felt like whiplash had my neck broke
You left me stripped of all my love, I felt like I was dead low
"We can still be friends though?" You're kidding me go fucking choke

I've been down so long
And if you hear this song
I've just one thing to say
It's fuck you, so run away