How Five and Twenty Shillings were Expended in a Week

It's of a tradesman and his wife
I heard the other day
Who did kick up a glorious row
They live across the way
The husband proved himself a fool
His money was all spent
He called upon his wife, my life,
To know which way it went

So she reckoned up and show'd him
And she show'd him all complete
How five and twenty shillings was
Expended in a week

He said my wages are all gone
And it does me perplex
Indeed, said she, then list to me
My bonny cock of wax
Continually you make a noise
And fill the house with strife
I'll tell you where your money goes
I will upon my life

There's two and thrupence house rent
Now attend to me she said
There is four shillings goes for meat
And three and ninepence bread
To wash your nasty dirty shirt
There's sixpence ha'penny soap
There's one and eightpence coals old boy
And tenpence wood and coke

There's fourpence there for milk and cream
And one and tuppence malt
Three half pence for vinegar
And tuppence happeny salt
A penny goes for mustard
Three halfpence goes for thread
You gave me thruppence t'other night
For a half an old sheep's head

A red herring each morning
Is fivepence farthing a week
Sometimes you send me out for fish
You say you can't eat meat
Last Monday night when you got drunk
There's ninepence went for capers
You'd a penny box of congreves
And hapenny baked potaters

There's a penny goes for pepper too
As you must understand
Tuppence hapenny starch and blue
And a farthings worth of sand
Fourpence hapenny candles
Three farthings go on matches
And a penny's worth of corduroy
You had to mend your breeches

A shilling taties, herbs and greens
Ten pence on butter, see?
Sixpence coffee, eightpence sugar
And one and fourpence tea
There's two pence goes for this thing
A penny that and t'other
Last night you broke the chamber pot
I had to buy another

There's eight pence for tobacco
And seven farthings swipes
There is three pence ha'penny snuff
And two pence ha'ppeny tripes
A penny, well, you owed for strings
O'er at the cobbler's shop
And you know last Sunday morning
You bought a pint of pop

There's twopence goes for blacking
And eightpence halfpenny cheese
Three farthing rushlight every night
To watch the bugs and fleas
And while each night to a public house
You go to drink and sing
I hit the tavern across the way
To have a drop of gin

So reckon up again old boy
And you will find complete
How five and twenty shillings were
Expended in a week