Thirty Winters

I understand very very little about how the universe works
I can make only the most basic of observations
for example
sometimes water falls from the clouds in the sky
sometimes it's the sun that's peaking through the leaves
sometimes I feel like life piles up on my chest and throat
and I can't get the air that I need
other times I'm okay, I'm alright
I can't tell you what it means or why it happens
I have no clue why I, or any of us are here
or what we're supposed to be doing
naturally, I spend a lot of time thinking about God
It seems a lot of people look to God
to answer all of these impossible questions
yet so much can be said using this three letter word
that doesn't make sense to me
what about the insane injustices that exist in this world
what about the suffering that occurs in all of our lives
why do people have to die
why do all things come to an end
I feel like I keep trying to add one plus one
and getting five, or six, or twenty seven
I think a lot about how quickly time is passing
sometimes moments occur in my life
and I feel unable to grasp their meaning
I'm aging
before I know it I'll be in the twilight of my life
looking back at all the things I've dreamed of
and accomplished as a young man
full of energy
but also full of questions
for me I have found there are better ways
to take time off and take a break
I really need that headspace
and I found that overstimulation is crippling for me