Nine Months

The first thing you said the night we met is I was beautiful
And you were right, that New Year's night I looked so beautiful
So good inside, life in my eyes, I was so beautiful
That's the last time I looked so beautiful
'Cause now I'm standing in your light, and it's not beautiful
But I was so beautiful, I was so beautiful

But now I'm sleeping, just so I'm not awake
When I get up, I'm getting dressed by yesterday
And every time I think of you
I hate I didn't run away
'Cause I never thought, I never thought
I'd be the girl who stayed

In late July, we went upstate for your twenty-second
All you wanted for your birthday's to mess with my head
Tell me I'm dumb, all my friends suck, I'll never be loved again
Then apologize, say it's not what you meant
Ah, but it's what you said, I know it's what you meant

So now I'm sleeping, just so I'm not awake
When I get up, I'm getting dressed by yesterday
And every time I think of you
I hate I didn't run away
'Cause I never thought, I never thought
I'd be the girl who stayed

But when I think of it, I acted like a kid
Not knowing right from wrong
It makes my stomach sick
That I tolerated you for so long

It's all so clear to me now
That you're not here with me, how was I so blind
The words "It's not my fault" repeat until I fall asleep each night
The words "It's not my fault" repeat until I fall asleep each night

So when they ask you about us
No, don't you ever say we were in love
I took my time now I know what it was
So don't you ever say we were in love
You ruined my life for nine fucking months
So don't you ever say we were in love
No, don't you ever say we were in love
No, don't you ever say we were in love