Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Chasing Wonder – Ch 15 – Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Guess who's coming to dinner, with the perfect plan
I'll get there early and hide in the sand
I'm Vidi, Vidi, evil as can be
Little oyster, come to me

Twain the turtle, so old and wise
Could see through all and realized
That danger, was very near
He must do something, though what wasn't clear
He needed time, to focus
See through, all the hocus-pocus
So he sat down on a sandy mound and he tried to
focus

I'm Vidi Vidi, gonna eat that little oyster in the red cap
I'm Vidi Vidi, it'll be over in a snap
I'll make wonder, a hasbeener story
C'est la vie, my little cacciatore

Vidi- evil Vidi - is out to get Wonder
Twain's voice boomed, like a clap of thunder
Crusher immediately clacked, his giant claws
I'm ready to fight he said, for the cause
Squid pro quo tensed, oh what should he do?
Was his quid pro quo with Vidi finally coming due?
While Neptune hurried away, to get a message sent

Chasing Wonder – Ch 15 – Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

The moment was nearing for Vidi's planned predation
As Wonder's reunion continued its celebration
NepTune rapped, and they partied rhapsodically
A rap city in blue, by George, performed melodically
And when anyone paused to glance around
None noticed Vidi, moving toward them, inbound

Also there
Half-aware
Were Yada Yada
(So nada nada)
And Blah Blah Blah
Mindlessly enjoying all the hoop la la

Wonder smiled as Sara and Dipidee appeared
A gathering without them would have been weird
He presumed Twain would arrive there soon
From north or south by mid-afternoon
Twain, he knew, never came from east or west
And there's a famous poem that explains why, best

"It's by Rudyard Kipling," Coral Larry said
"Everything he wrote is stored in my head
'East is east, and west is west, and never the Twain shall meet
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgement seat'
It means everything comes out in the end," Coral Larry explained
"The end of what?" Wonder wondered, a question that remained

"The end of you," Vidi thought, smugly
"My tactics are as perfect as I am ugly!"
Yes, Vidi had arrived, exactly as he had planned
Uninvited and well concealed beneath a hump of sand
His moment of glory was mere seconds away
Then... something happened that ruined his day

That's when Murphy's Law began
(And Murphy could mess up any plan)
As the last to be seen on the scene
Was Twain the turtle, usually serene
But now he appeared a bit disturbed
As if something troubling had occurred

But before Twain would say hello
He sought a place to rest, below
Quickly he found it
A sandy mound it
Was, he thought
A perfect spot

Now, Twain was not a tiny turtle
His shell fit tightly, like a girdle
To keep his bulging body in
In spots that were no longer thin
Unknowingly, he settled his poundage down
Onto Vidi, hidden inside that sandy mound

Twain's weight contorted Vidi's spine
His bones and thoughts all misaligned
Crunched now from head to tail
He almost cried a humpbacked wail
But somehow Vidi barely squealed
Not loud enough to be revealed

Twain didn't hear even a single sound
As he relaxed atop that mound
While Vidi's eyes bulged out from his head
"Oh, this turtle must be made of lead
Perhaps that's why they all move so slow
I gotta do something to make him go"

And that's when Vidi burped a distinctive smell
The stench of Rattail Ronnie, straight from... well
It made everyone's nose wrinkle and eyes roll
More proof that Ronnie was a stinky soul
"What's that terribly odor?" asked Twain
"I'm too tired to move again."

Vidi snarled, "When will this turtle ever go away?
"I'm crushed. I'm squashed," he thought with dismay
"I'm so close, yet so far; I'm going bonkers
I came. I saw. But look who conquers
A little oyster in a stupid red cap
Because I'm stuck beneath a turtle's lap"

No one heard Vidi's grumbled lament
The muted sounds of a malcontent
Then Twain said, "For decades I've observed the sea
Which has shaped my life's philosophy
I'm old, experienced, very wise
And I speak the truth, never lies!"

"When turtles slowly glide through life
We observe all things, through calm and strife
It gives us time," Twain said, "to focus
To see through all the hocus-pocus
And I... I sense something strange here
I smell danger, and it's very near"

"I must tell you, there's a rumor floating around
It's serious—not something to water down"
Then, with emphasis on every word
Twain added, "Here's what I've heard..."
And then his voice boomed like thunder
Vidi—evil Vidi—is out to get Wonder"

Crusher immediately clacked his giant claws
"I'm ready," he boasted, "to fight for the cause"
The squid tensed; oh, what should he do?
Was his quid pro quo with Vidi coming due?
Wonder wondered what all of this meant
While NepTune hurried away to get a message sent