Sober Eyes

Just close your eyes
Who do you trust
Who do you believe in
What are your fears
Are they in the way of your achievements
How do you want the world to see you
How do you perceive it
And do you only lend a helping hand for your convenience
I had to learn I'm as sick as my secrets
The only treatment for me was intravenous
That's fucked up
I have a disease that digs at my weakness
That makes me lie, cheat, steal, in that sequence
But I found my way home
I had to navigate the loopholes inside the game
I hate to say those streets are paved in fear, guilt and shame
But I was sculpted by the hands of a dying breed
My desired needs keep me wired at a higher speed
I'm surrounded by good people with bad stories
Fell in love, that taught me
She's a bad bitch and a bad person who's bad for me
When she was down I picked her up
When I was down she wished me luck
And she turned her back on the only one, at the time
Who'd even give a fuck
Now, forgive and forget
I'm not the one who would live in regret
I sit and reflect on our past relations
So congratulations
Your soul is vast and vacant
I gave my all and you broke down my walls
For your own selfish entertainment and validation
On the outside you're lovely
But inside's so ugly
And the fact that I once thought you were a good person
Now that disgusts me
If I grow through what I go through and do what I'm supposed to
Then I can hope to help somebody else grow too
If I don't use I won't lose
No more abuse
Never again will I ever feel used
By somebody who's as selfish as you
And always makes up an excuse
Y'all couldn't walk in my shoes
I choose to let y'all spark up my fuse
I assume y'all like the fumes
When I explode and it might be soon
Lie under the moon
Talk to the universe about what I need to remove
Talk about what I can do to improve
What can I do to influence the youth
I traveled all day and came a long way and do it daily
One day at a time
You only change when you change your mind
Change your thoughts and one day you'll shine
I chose to see through sober eyes
They'll socialize with you based on sober time
She told me that I'm on my own
And won't help who helped her sober up
So I'm slowly climbing back up the ladder
To practice attacking what actually matters
An addict that has a knack for disaster
And passion for rap that I happen to master
I will not do what you please with your conspicuous beliefs
Been going through it for weeks, months even, I'm losing sleep
So I'm wide awake and I ask the man if I'm sinning
Cause people like me will lose so much
That we don't know when we're winning, I'm gone