When I Drive

When I drive I like looking at the billboards
And I pretend to know the words to every song
Been putting miles on the Honda that we went halfsies on
Talk to myself
And blow my voice out

And lately I've been listening to sad songs
I play pretend that I'm the one they sing about
And the only time I feel at home is when nothing is right
I still manage to sleep okay through the night

Spent a year loving someone I can't talk to
And that vast and wild silence made me thin
But at least it gave me something to hold onto
I check my phone way more often than I care to

But when I drive I can picture him beside me
And we talk and laugh and sometimes stop for coffee
And I throw him a knowing look before pulling over
And we lose all sense of direction for a few hours

And my room doesn't feel like my room
I used to think it sad but now I don't
Cause whenever I get restless I just grab my keys and go
And I drive until I feel like going home

And in a way I think I'm scared of being happy
For the fear that it just won't last
I find I'm comfortable within the melancholy
And I won't mind if it's like this 'til I'm dead

Sooner or later I'll run out of money
To pay for gas and oil changes and tow trucks
And when that day comes I hope I'll have somebody
Cause when I drive I think that's what I'm running from

And everywhere I go my friends oh they love me
They show me their worlds and they're so pretty
And everyday I wonder if that life is for me
Cause until now the only time I feel at home is when I drive
The only time I feel at home is when I drive