Aches & Ashes

Searched for the faint light in the distance
Thought if no one knew I'd be fine
In the dead of the night, a spark
For years on end, I called you mine

Made friends with the ashes on the floor
Felt sick to my core but you got me so high
A lone friend for a lonely soul
With each inhale, I learned to die

I've let you go but sometimes I recall you
Sitting perfectly in between my burnt fingers
Pressed between my lips in silence
My lungs fill with smoke and cinder

You kissed me on the cheek
A traitor; I used to tell myself otherwise
With you: my mind and soul at ease
Every other part of me jeopardized

Then one day I put my cravings to rest
Forced myself to learn to live without you
Phantom pains continue to haunt me
Sometimes too loud to put on mute

I've let you go but sometimes I recall you
Sitting perfectly in between my burnt fingers
Pressed between my lips in silence
My lungs fill with smoke and cinder

Convinced myself I'd die for and with you
Smoke rings were my only commitment
Life got easier with every sigh
But that love turned bitter into resentment

Give in you begged me
Said just this once, just for now
I've got you locked up but after all this time
I still don't have the heart to throw you out

I've let you go but sometimes I recall you
Sitting perfectly in between my burnt fingers
Pressed between my lips in silence
My lungs fill with smoke and cinder