Wonder Killer

You made it so far
I'm real proud of you
You reached out for the stars
But got burned and yearned for that boundless view
Bottled in a jar
Walls turn to faces surrounding you
I'm reaching out my arms
But it hurts cus they're not surrounding you

You were in the darkest of nights
And I failed in providing that spark of a light
All the pain you would hide
It had scarred you inside
It's insane
Never thought that you would part with your life

Always stuck in my mental, never cared for it much
And I would struggle to chill, I know that I wasn't enough
Embodied the hurt and I guess for what it was worth
They walked on me like I was dirt
And I tried to be someone that they would consider perfect

You're the one that made it worth it

Tell me that I can restart, so I thought with my heart, didn't get me too far
Know that we can shine bright, but only when it's this dark
And we can show them new light, stay up late with these stars
Even if it ain't right, I just wanna know who you are

Cause i'm all alone in my dome, I've been trapped inside
Wish I had a hope, but I don't, barely even try
Can't stay optimistic if I did it my entire life
Treated like i'm different i'm just sick of feeling all the time

Need it to get out my mind, just want someone by my side
Overthinking every little thing like it was do or die
Who am I? Scared to share the truth of what I keep in mind
I'll be fine if you promise it won't end in suicide

I was a lonely kid
Surrounded by faces in crowded spaces
Haters and fakers, the world ain't do me no favors
And now I'm dealin with the loss of my only friend
They don't wanna see me suffer, bottle up and hold it in

Heart is growing cold again, statues crying, fighting through the trauma
I just tell her I'mma see her later, living through the saga
Breaking others out their shells, I'm coming out of my own
But not my own, new circle round me makin me grow

I need to atone, but I also need to move on
So much I need to improve on, I been beside myself, they turn a blind eye
Tortured by the evils of their ignorance, tell me I should get a grip
I get a grip, and put em in the sediment, dust settlin
I'm tired of copin

I know I'm broken but I'm working on it
And every day is a lesson, that's what I'm learning on it
Armed with a reminder of my past self
Closer to the future every time I hear the pass bell

If I bring it back again
Can I finally put an end to these
Wonders, wonders, to these wonders, wonders
What's left for me to find?
When can I put behind these
Wonders, wonder, all these wonders, wonders

Feels like I'm lost out in space
And I can't find my way
But I'll try gravitate to these
Wonders, wonders
To these wonders, wonders

Nothing feels real anymore
Numb to the pain
I barely feel anymore
For these
Wonders, wonders
All these wonders, wonders

There's time left for me
I'll make ammends
And make sure that the system never fails again
It aches, but then I guess you had it worse
It never feels real until they're leaving the hearse

The schools made us think that we were by ourselves
And the police made us terrified to cry for help
Know your friends don't exist if they're not irl
And you should just be fucking grateful you're alive and well
Trust me, you're not by yourself
Feel free to cry for help
You're alive and well
And only you can find the wonder deep inside yourself