music to walk home to

So I'm walking home
I'm just walking home
All on my own
There's literally no one else awake except me
And the bloke selling hotdogs outside the station
And what a wild night it's been
Two blokes dressed up as bananas join the party
Saying that they've just taken a huge pay rise at their dream job

Great
So you work 35 hours a week
Pushing paper for someone who doesn't even know you exist?
Great
So you've got a promotion
And sit next to Vicky from accounts
Who you say is somewhat of a potential love interest
Well, either way she's at least a bit of eye candy, apparently

And what about you, what keeps you busy?
Well, excuse me my slippery-skinned friend
I must be going now
And just like that, I was off
Just me, myself and I, getting no distractions
Alone with my thoughts
And what a wild night it's been
Cocktails and disco biscuits

And the night bus can be a terrifying place
But just a short walk past that hardware store
And across the crossroads and then home
Finally
Take these jeans off, slip out of these shoes
And stare at the ceiling, and let some kind of repetitive salsa music
Drift me off to the land of nod
I sure hope I can sleep tonight

I'm awfully tired
In fact, fuck that, I'm tired as fuck
And avoiding these puddles that seem to have gathered
Since I left mine is a little bit of a dream
I slowly make my way down the road
Tarmac and white lines
Tarmac and white lines
Thank God we got rid of those bananas, hey?
Why
Why

Why is it that when you're ruined
All your interactions seem to have a mysterious undertone
Like, "Wait, did I just meet my cousin or maybe a future lover"
Or, "Hey, you look just like that guy that works at my local Londis"
Bartenders hey, fuck those guys
Like, yeah I get it, I used to work at a bar too
But come on, I'm trying to have fun here
And you're being a proper vibe vacuum
A vampire vacuuming up every last drop of my enthusiasm
Until I am nothing but a sorry little raisin
Bananas and raisins

I sure hope I have toast at home
Cheese on toast, salt and pepper, Lea and Perrins, wow
Game changer, you have just changed my life
Thank you so much for showing up
And I genuinely appreciate the guidance
Hmm, my legs are achin' a little now
But either way, not far, not far
Come on Murray, not far at all
Keep on going

And each Uber that glides silently past me
Is like a lonely ghost of some pre-existing supercar
That once roared and snarled at the traffic lights
Reduced to nothing but a quivering, silent, pseudo suitable tin can
Finally I've made it, where are my keys?
Okay, don't be silly, they're in your hand, why are you making this long?
Just go through the door, okay?
Waiting for the lift now and brace yourself for when the lift's door opens
And then the huge full length mirror
Me in all my drunken glory

Kind of wish I'd gotten a photo with those weird banana men now
But it's okay, fourth floor here I come
Flat 65, it's good to be back
Keys in the door, feelin' good, feelin' good and home at last
And what a wild night it's been
Especially for a schoolnight
Won't be doing that again in a hurry
Okay, turning my phone off now and you can keep the music playing by all means
Just perhaps turn it down a little if that's cool
Yeah, much better, thank you

Oh, and just quickly, about tomorrow, I was thinking about
Taking Ire and Holly out for a walk and then probably just chill
Read a book or something, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Alright, hey
It's, it's been a pleasure, yeah, thanks
Speak tomorrow, sweet dreams and yeah, bla-bla-bla
Alright, goodnight