Self Care

Think I've been waiting too long
I need to let it all go
I need the music, you know
I need the music to show
I was here, I was living
I existed, god dammit
Short time on this planet
No one can plan when they go
And I been waiting on apologies
From some numbers I den blocked
And I been waiting on technology
To take me to a new rock
I been gone for a minute
Damn, don't I say that
Every single time that I come back
Why do I always wait so long?
I know I'm needing these songs
Way more than anyone that I know
Lotta niggas trying to make it out here making songs
I'm just making music only played in my home
Man, fuck it, I got the vibe, though
Told my nephew play this shit in his ride though
That nigga still owe me money
I ain't tripping; it's a gift
That's the uncle in me
But when he ask me for some shit
Well, my number's deceased
I fell in love a few times
Now it's nothing to me
So was it really ever love
Or something to be?
I only pop up on the social
When it's something to creep
So don't come sliding in my DMs
Like it's somewhere to be
I really made a lot of money
It don't fucking mean nothing
But it's better to be sad
When you got something to eat
It used to be a competition
With my brothers and me
I love all them niggas to death
But y'all ain't fucking with me
I don't know why I'm so hostile
I got nothing to prove
Got nothing to do
I guess I'm just in one of those moods
Where I'm really tryna rap
Just to show you the proof
That I'm that dude
I guess I'm tryna show me, too

Who do I rap for?
Them or me?
Who do I rap for?
Them or me?
Who is these raps for?
Them or me?
Who is these raps for?
Them or me?

Think I been waiting too long
Need to let the beat breathe
Put my thumb to my teeth
If you coming at me
Niggas really stressed out
But I'm at my best now
And I've always been blessed on these beats
Ain't shit sweet, no lie
Might buy a Tesla
Drive to my reunion
Do it for the flexing
Fuck I'm talking about
Ain't no point in even going to that
Just bunch of niggas holding me back
I guess I'm feeling divisive
I want the autopilot
Wanna lay back
And just watch the wife drive it
Can't say I'm in my feelings
'Cause I'm always in that
Wayne said it ain't no ceilings
And I'm following that
I don't really need a healing
Put it all in the rap
I'm here yelling at my demon
And they hollering back
Momma think I need church
Friends think that I'm a jerk
But I made it where I am
Following my own tracks
And the proof is how I'm living
Never apologize; I don't need to be forgiven
You never realize when you put in the position
And you were the hopes lie
Dreams die at your decision
And you don't have the time to just be
When you know you're the future for the whole family
I hope I got the vision
Hope I got the wisdom
Hope that I can do it, still keep my sanity
I only used to rap for the hell of it
The way I'm rapping now?
Shit feeling like medicine
Been doing it for a while
And I still don't get no credit, shit
Well, I guess it's all irrelevant
Do you know what that feels like?
Bare your whole soul on a song just to feel right?
It ain't all as it seems
I guess it was never for me

I guess it was never for me
Hmm. I guess it was never for me
It was never for me