The Rudie of Breathing

Sometimes I wanna take the car out on the road
Flip it into park and smash myself into a million little pieces
I'm tired of knowing what about myself is wrong
But never mustering up the resolve to really try change it
I walk outside and people say, "Hey"
And sometimes I just wanna say, "Hey, go away
Go away"
So I guess I better stay inside

I've read that if you just sit in a chair and think
Of focusing your nervous energy
On the beauty of breathing
You could live a life of real tranquility
But I just thought of every stupid thing
That's been keeping me from sleeping
I close my eyes and it won't go away
I plug my ears, but they're ringing out, "Hey, hey, hey"

It keeps, keeps me from believing
That maybe someday the thing will work
Maybe I won't feel like a jerk
Maybe the words I say will stop coming out weighted
Maybe someday I'll want to breathe
And maybe the people that I meet
Won't lead to a certain future where I'm betrayed and
I'm so jaded
I'm so jaded

And that's, that's why I'm so fucking sad