Heaven Is a Hotel (Feast At the House of Levi)

Isn't it important to have a place
You can call a home away from home? Where
Five-star dining and a luxury spa treatment
Are a God-given right for every
Red-blooded American. And a good night's
Sleep isn't something that should be
Taken for granted. And friendly service
Is as important as the air
You breathe. And that's why
Here, at the Mercydale Inn, Your stay
Is the most important part of our business

So we can keep sucking you dry
Every time you get something from the mini-bar

Pretty lights so colorful, a tapestry of taste
Pottery and paintings all so perfectly in place
Uniformed employees with a smile on their face
Their restaurant menu showing items in a fancy case

Freshly pressed white linens lie quite spotless on the bed
The fluffiest of pillows where I lay my weary head
It's time for me to put out all the vicious things you've said
And lay upon this mattress like my body's made of lead

If you think you're a fink
And you don't feel alive
You feel like you're a shell
There's a place you can go for a buck or five
Heaven Is A Hotel

Who's that knockin', who's that talkin'
Stop that walkin', I'm trying to sleep

Stop that noise, you rotten boys
I'll steal yer toys, you lousy creeps

Now, no nonsense, Nancy Nick
My tee-off is at eight

You take that tappy trick to the trash
Or I swear I'm gonna skate

Restaurant magnificent, A menu penned with gold
Recipes and cooking styles from in the days of old
Rich Italian pasta that tastes so freshly rolled
And rest assured, I'm ready for the homestyle pie they've sold

People used to stay here like they lived in a house
Where gentlemen and ladies in a shirt and a blouse
Would run across the halls like they were chasing a mouse
And in champagne would let themselves be soaked in a douse

If you think you're a fink
And you don't feel alive
You feel like you're a shell
There's a place you can go for a buck or five
Heaven Is A Hotel