Murder Ballad No. 2

The first thing you need to know about me
Is that I really don't care about anyone but myself
It isn't hard to figure out

Step out of the caravan, sir
Cause I'm gonna take all of your jewelry for myself
I'm gonna empty you quite out

Don't try to be a hero
Don't try and take my guns
If you do, I can assure you
You won't have any fun
But I will

Stop your coachman from his panicking
Or I'll have his fancy coat and buckles for myself
I'll take his horse and buggy, too

Hold fast by the willow tree now
While I take your chest of richery for myself
And perhaps your clothes so blue

Just please stay very still
As still as a tree stump
I promise you I'll kill ya
If you move or make me jump

You must understand, it isn't personal
You're simply a victim of fate
I'll try and be so merciful
If I don't get home too late

So make like a statue, and freeze
Like a Teak Tree
Unaffected by the breeze

What did I tell you at the start, sir
I said that I don't care for anyone but myself
And now you're laying on the ground

A shot like that you don't recover from
I've seen far too many to know that for myself
For the grave, sir, you are bound

You tried to be a hero
You tried to take my guns
And now you've learned your lesson
That I was not the one
For you to triumph over

Your jewels will look terrific In The Garden