As a Rule

Now I'm not, I'm not in anyway a prude
But the sight of two people cavorting on stage
Doing what can only be termed a natural act
Is unless you wear a raincoat, only good for a laugh

As a rule, I never smoke while on duty
It just isn't on, do I make myself clear
Though at times if there's nobody looking, I will
I mean, life's too short and if I didn't smoke, I bet
What with the luck that I have?
I'd probably die of worry, and that would be
That would be, that would be that

Who would have thought it was humanly possible
To mate an elephant with a kangaroo
Well, as my dear old mother once said in a rage
Next thing you know, they'll have pigs on the stage

Whoever said blue skies were better than red
Must have been talking from out of his hat
I mean whose ever heard of a blue sky at night
I don't like waiting or suffocating in overcrowded tubes
But I like good wine with my dinner, don't you?

Yes, we do, yes, we do, yes, we do
Yes, we do, yes, we do, yes, we do, yes, we do