May Flowers

May Flowers, bloomin'

Yeah

I've been talking a lot but not doing enough
Acting like what I've been doing is tough
But running away from all of my problems
Is easy as cake, when nobody's watching
I'm tired of saying I'm new to this stuff
And always complaining I'm doing too much
The timing is late, but it's never stopping
Yeah it's a new day, but still the same options

I'm starting to fade
Nodding to beats so I can't stay awake
Hating to dream because dreaming is fake
I gave it up with the hope that it gave
It's not misleading to lead me away
Better for pain so it's easing the brakes
Ripping the bandage right off of my face
Writing my wrongs right off on a page

I think I saved myself
I think I played myself
I think one thought then the next thought hits
Then I think, don't stop, but the shit don't click
But it contradicts, think I hit then miss
Think I found my clique but the shoe don't fit
Made a house from words, not stones, not sticks
Letting in my thoughts through the walls, no bricks

When they fall they hurt but shit it figures
Made a wall from all your pictures, yeah
(Made a wall from all your pictures)
A million words ripped out of the fixtures
From the curses in our scriptures, yeah
(Made a wall from all our pictures)

All the same shit that I heard from the start
Rather go broke and just die with the art
Money and joy won't tear my soul apart
If I lose myself, who am I in the heart?

You know I'm grateful, I'm counting my blessings
Got my eyes open, I don't miss a lesson
Pray for some peace, but it's not Smith & Wesson
Searching for answers, but don't know the question

Over time, Golden Boy lost all the luster
These are the only words, that I can muster
Write down the deepest moments, I entrust the
Record with all of my secrets, I wonder

Only alive for 19 summers
So how come the world only wants me to grow up?
With the flaws of the human condition,
Like, how don't they see that we're liable to blow up?

All the stress and the pressure, depression
Regression of blessings and you tell me talk to the reverend?
Like, how can he help me?
If lately it feels like my friends won't even fucking send me a message?

All of these people be acting like they know me
Get the fuck off me, but they swear that they know me
Like, how could you think that you know me?
If lately It feels like I don't know me

You gon' end up 6 feet under, but just know it happens either way
Lose yourself, and lost the map, there's nothing left to see the way
Time is running out, you know you don't need a new delay
Trust, you've said it all before, there's nothing left for you to say
Aye, nothing left for you to say
Give up on your dream for dollars, you're one for you to blame
The world is ending quick, an operation made by Dumile
Coming from the underground, better fight so them to know the name

Saved me, I'm fading from
Existence, I wish love
Saved me, I'm fading from
Existence, I wish love
Saved me, I'm late for reasons
Late to see my heart in pieces
Can't you see my life in recess?
I can't change my rhymes or regrets

Saved me, I'm fading from
Existence, I wish love

Yeah, uh

Retracing my steps
Regretting the moment I left
Retaking the tears that I wept
Replacing my bets
Remaking mistakes that I made, I can honestly say
That I'm trying to move onto the next
I'm faking my best
And I'm taking it all to the chest
If you're asking how to not get nothing out of it
Bet that I'm acing the test

Need to do things for myself some more
Steer the ship with no one else on board
Draw the line some time, don't get so sure
Like ooh
Never felt like beskar, felt so pure
My fears held down with stress, no cure
I'm cra- man fuck it

Lately I feel like I'm crazy
I wait for my troubles to take me
I take everything like they hate me
I'm late to the party, I'm fading
I said it before but know I'm still afraid
Parting ways with the world that made me
Part ways with the words that saved me
I'm in danger to soil the safety
Of myself and the help I may need
From the angel of death, and lately I'm done

Feeling just a few shades off of indigo
It's hard to get the picture when you're looking past a centerfold
And life is a limited time offer
So why would hold I hold me back when I'm the MC and the author

And there's no conflict just an exposition
Or more an explanation of my every last decision

But anyway I tend to ramble frequently
I just get too distracted tryna focus on the sequencing of life
Like, how am I gonna grow and get a wife
Am I walking on the clouds
Or just ignoring all the strife?

Always on the grind but I never take a break fast
Sunny sides are up if I'm tryna make this plate last

I know the negatives of my existence
Not hung up, so that I'ma keep with my persistence
Stuck inside the house long enough to know the world is my oyster
Life's a bitch, just know that I'ma hoist her

Don't go so far away
From the light
That you can't
Make it back home
Don't go so far away
From the light
That you can't
Make it back home