Destroy You Whole

Every time you call me up
You say, "Hey do you wanna fuck?"
And after I say yes you let me talk to you

Every time we share a bed
You conquer worlds inside my head
And every time you leave it makes it hard for me

I wish I were strong enough
To detach like you
I wish I were strong enough
Not to feel it too
I wish I could curl
Like an awful leaf and die

Every time I carve your name
Into my arm I feel the pain
Of weeks of waiting for the fucking phone to ring

Every way you look at it
The situation's piss and shit
And every time I tell myself I'm over it

I get distracted
By the thought of your voice
I get distracted
By the image of boys who share your shape
And touch and feel and taste
But not your face

I await the blessed day
I can't recall your stupid name
I know it's coming fast
'Cause I've been good
I don't need to let you know
The pain you left in letting go
I promised not to hurt you
Though I should

I wish I were strong enough
To hold myself back
I wish I could stop myself
From the coming attack on your heart
And body, mind and soul
Destroy you whole