after you

I could never hate you
Doesn't matter what you do
I know that you hate me
Usually I hate me too
Tired of complaining
But I don't know what else to do
Tired of explaining
Every wrong move I choose

Feels like I've lost every reason
Nobody else to believe in
Think I've got too many secrets
So I keep sleeping and dreaming
That once for a change I could feel something else
And it pains me to stay with the cards I've been dealt
I could keep moving forwards and look for some help
But I'd rather exist with just you and myself

So, baby, tell me what hits harder than my words
I'm sick and tired of explaining so you first
I still can't find it so I can't tell you my worth
So, baby, tell me would you feel the same
If you were hurt
Like, would it work?
Would you find me useful
Or would I be like dirt?
And maybe it's just a process
One that I can not process
Bang my head on the wall
And you won't tell me I lost it
Please just tell me I lost it

I could never hate you
Doesn't matter what you do
I know that you hate me
Usually I hate me too
Tired of complaining
But I don't know what else to do
Tired of explaining
Every wrong move I choose