A Recipe for a Meaningful Life

I often think about what will happen to me
I made up my mind to change my life, but everything stays the same
Found comfort in memories, fantasies and dreams
The only things I know that won't grow old
And be different than they were yesterday
Yesterday
When morning time comes, I'll bring my heart along

It's that moment when the streetlights are still on at 6 a.m.
I know the sun is coming but it's still so dark
And the view of the city sleeping evokes forlorn
Painful, but peaceful
I'm free from judgement
I wanna feel this way forever

I always wanted to be that character in the movie
Who makes everyone happy and makes her parents proud
But that script was ripped to shreds on the day that I was born
Now I'm a crisis actor fighting for the big screen

You only think about yourself
We all have problems, we all need help
And I can't help it if I feel this way

It's not my decision if everything will be okay
Everything is not okay
Everything is not okay
I want to kill myself
We all have problems, we all need help
So this is where our love will lie, the you and I in suicide
I love you

Fuck the fantasy
Fuck the sanguine
Fuck the trigger
I want to lock and load 931 chambers
And make the coldest dish of revenge ever served
And go one by one by one until they're all-

Homicide is a favor, thank me in Hell