Palms Are Wet

I wished destruction on you
In the most affectionate way
Walked home with you
From high school
Stopped for drugs on the way

And I bumped into your arm
And sometimes I let my hand sway
Just enough to brush
Yours in a causal way

And when your dealer asked about your girlfriend
I look the other way
And then he asked about my brother and i shrugged
There wasn't much to say

And later on that day
You called me your best friend
And you called me by the wrong name
In the same breath

My palms are wet
My fucking palms are wet

You taught me some second-grade song
To remember the planets
I recited for you
Just like I pander to my parents

Like love me I am smart
I am so full of talent
But with my hands over your shirt
And my mind under the blankets

I'm still that full of desperation
Still equally pathetic
How I wished my name was her name
Only now can I admit it

And later on that day
You called me your best friend
And then turned the engine off
So we could have sex

My palms are wet
My fucking palms are wet

I dragged my hand slowly
Dragged over your windshield
Left a cascade of colors
Smeared over the cornfield
That we were parked next to
Some families income
The blood from the nail marks
Dug deep in my wet palms
And you told me don't do that
The car was your fathers
Some part of me snapped
Then was forced back together
And I dragged my hands slowly
Dragged over your temples
You told me your mother
She had the worst temper
And she marked her hatred
Onto you and your sister
Some Hollywood childhood
Some sharp fabric scissors
And you called me a doormat
When I let you take pictures
The two of us naked
Some part of me snapped

My palms are wet
My fucking palms are wet