Thoughts From the Void

I feel so lost without you

I walk on a tight rope, Hoping If I fall low
Demons won't follow
Hard pill to swallow, Non-believers be shallow
I dip into the shadows, Tame my thoughts, My heart hallow
I don't want to be caught down low
My eye sight narrows, Stares be like arrows
I play my piano, Sing in soprano and sing my sorrows
Foos that don't believe in me wish for my down fall
But dang y'all only check on me to see that I haven't surpassed you all
That just feeds your ego
Do I makes you so insecure, To question you worth
But believe if i get out, I'll leave you on earth
Gotta put me first, That's self care
Not second or third, I do not share
I've gotten this far but I don't know if I could go further
I'm running on fumes, shallow intakes and quits murmurs
I'm aware my momma raised no bitch but I'm on the burner
I've made it this far with what I got, I hope I don't hurt her
Hatred seems to be the precursor for my eagerness of the end
If I betrayed my momma please off with my head
I look at the twelve with the eagerness to pretend, But I'm no hard head
If it were up to my demons, I'd have all my enemies all dead
I'd get all my bread, Twisted and dirty like my family in north
But would I be a disappointed then
I chase false dreams, I chase a degree
But inside I know it's not for me
What will get me out of poverty?
Adri I said I was gonna save you, But now your the one who saves me
I feel like I've failed you
We grew in the slums with no father
Alcoholic mother, Broken daughter, Anxious brother
I was never to hard to protect you, Now I feel like I might upset you
Time after time I feel like this world don't love you, And I don't love it
If it were a person, I'd shoot it to rubbish
Stand on the edge, Just so I know it's there
Antsy in my legs, I'm not going anywhere
Anytime soon