This Is 30

I think I get it now
I think I finally understand where I stand in the crowd
Yet feeling isolated
How the fuck are you alone in a room full of millions
I hate how easily overcomed I get from my feelings
These narratives are hard to keep up with
But that's what happens to an extra in these full length flicks
Like yeah, you might be in the scene but you not gonna be featured
You just undistinguished background in the bleachers
Begging for a moment where you do something
Anything just for the voucher
Anything just to matter
Cuz the world is so quick to let you know that you don't
Spit all the truth that you want. But hashtags make it woke
And that's a funny ass trend
Motherfuckers say they up and yet they sleeping through life
And this the time where you can't tell nobody nothing
I had a Caucasian stripper from Simi Valley
Tell me what it is to be a black man in America
Cuz like my family moved into the suburbs
I wouldn't know why Kaepernick would kneel
Not everyone can be a Stephen A and give a hot take
Yet there's a dickhead saying news is fake
Just for your own sake
It's more important to listen
then to let the world know you instant ramen opinions
That's how you don't push Fergal Devitt
That's whats best for business
Excuse the wrestling reference
But fuck me, can I speak from my Truth
Can I not be everyone else? Do you think I'm aloof
Man my life is aloof
I'm disconnected from my brethren in this world we pollute
I shit talk and kripe walk while wearing Timberland boots
I question love from my roots
Cuz yeah... I push away if you accept me
Cuz living in the moment makes me hesitate
And I don't wanna find out that the love is fake
That shit would kill me. But damn, would ppl ever care
I'm having doubts like Meryl Streep
I gotta car I named Desire in the street
And the engine still roaring
The sky is still cloudy and the rain is still pouring
Heavy Rain. Origami figures just to drown the pain away
Sometimes I think the worlds is better if I fade away
Cuz why I stay around these women
They saying you're great but you're not right for me
Then they past me to another and it's rinse repeat
Call me Bill Withers. I'm feeling dirty
This is 30

Look in the mirror
Look past that downtrodden exterior
Stop acting like such a posterior
You're not superior
Another year. Another chance to make the same mistake
Stay off the web they cuffing niggas . Call it ape escape
I guess this life was fate
30 years of being told that you're not really black
30 years of stuck up bitches claiming that your wack
30 years of being iller than they ever thought
They blast my shit on rooftops cuz 88 is back
Multi talented legend just blending in the back
Now tell me who is wack
I hit em with a stupid flow and give em heart attacks
A-Level game with a Theory. Call it MatPat
I ain't above being nerdy. That's just how I act. That's just who I am
I told myself so many things would have been done by now
But life don't run on time limits
The only limits is within your mind
And once you're seeing that, then you're fine
Some people don't realize til they out of time
And that's the truth. So learn it early
Goddamn. A nigga 30