Certified Sexless
Hey, how you doin'?
This is the first song
When you have a shitty album
You gotta start strong
If we played a round in Smash
You know I'd beat ya
What's up? I'm Slash
Nice to meet ya
Now listen real close to this absolute bop
There's plenty more beats
Yeah I do it non-stop
If you wanna stick around
Listen for the drop
Against all the other rappers
I will come out on top
You came here for a laugh?
A chuckle? A giggle?
Or did you come to me to give that booty a wiggle?
I use ketchup on my food because it's good
Mustard too 'cause mustard is also good
Welcome to my highly sexy cooking class
We'll stuff you like a turkey
Shove an onion in your ass (Ouch!)
Run out on the streets
Gotta be strippin'
But I don't vibe with the hoes so you'll never catch me simpin'
And if I find a Cheeto on the ground
I must lick it all around
I buy dildos by the pound
Now we got the boppin' sound
I waste every single day
Watchin' silly anime
Way too many games I play
And now my songs are on display
Yes, I'm a virgin but I don't care
And I know that came out of nowhere
I kinda wanna smash but I act so reckless
But sex will never happen 'cause I'm certified sexless
Yes I eat tacos 'cause they taste good
I eat them every day that's how I lost my livelihood
I wanna mush butts 'cause my love is infectious
But you already know that I'm certified sexless
Purple's my favorite color but I like blue and green
I remember watching dad kick ass at Mean Bean Machine
My favorite game is Rocket Slime
Nintendo DS
Localized trilogy?
Ohh that'd be the best
For fifteen fucking years my whole room was a mess
You know who never cleaned it?
Take a wild guess
All my music videos are playin' at the cinema
I always like to watch them while I get a coffee enema
I like to strip down naked and then walk through a Walmart
Cackling and laughing while they see my non-existent part
Walkin' down the parking lot
I see a pretty little thot
Should I hit or maybe not?
I'll ask her quick just for the plot
She said no I had to go
Didn't even want that ho
FYI just so you know
Your ass smell like salmon roe (Rock You!)
Yes I'm a virgin but I don't care
Did you know one time I burnt my hair
I kinda wanna smash but I act so reckless
But sex will never happen 'cause I'm certified sexless
Yes I eat tacos 'cause they taste good
I eat them every day, they're tasty
I wanna mush butts for my love is infectious
But you already know that I'm certified sexless
Cer-tified
I don't want celibacy
Cer-tified
I still have my purity
Cer-tified
Didn't need this chastity
Cer-tified
I'm a king of virginity (Stand up)
This is the first song
When you have a shitty album
You gotta start strong
If we played a round in Smash
You know I'd beat ya
What's up? I'm Slash
Nice to meet ya
Now listen real close to this absolute bop
There's plenty more beats
Yeah I do it non-stop
If you wanna stick around
Listen for the drop
Against all the other rappers
I will come out on top
You came here for a laugh?
A chuckle? A giggle?
Or did you come to me to give that booty a wiggle?
I use ketchup on my food because it's good
Mustard too 'cause mustard is also good
Welcome to my highly sexy cooking class
We'll stuff you like a turkey
Shove an onion in your ass (Ouch!)
Run out on the streets
Gotta be strippin'
But I don't vibe with the hoes so you'll never catch me simpin'
And if I find a Cheeto on the ground
I must lick it all around
I buy dildos by the pound
Now we got the boppin' sound
I waste every single day
Watchin' silly anime
Way too many games I play
And now my songs are on display
Yes, I'm a virgin but I don't care
And I know that came out of nowhere
I kinda wanna smash but I act so reckless
But sex will never happen 'cause I'm certified sexless
Yes I eat tacos 'cause they taste good
I eat them every day that's how I lost my livelihood
I wanna mush butts 'cause my love is infectious
But you already know that I'm certified sexless
Purple's my favorite color but I like blue and green
I remember watching dad kick ass at Mean Bean Machine
My favorite game is Rocket Slime
Nintendo DS
Localized trilogy?
Ohh that'd be the best
For fifteen fucking years my whole room was a mess
You know who never cleaned it?
Take a wild guess
All my music videos are playin' at the cinema
I always like to watch them while I get a coffee enema
I like to strip down naked and then walk through a Walmart
Cackling and laughing while they see my non-existent part
Walkin' down the parking lot
I see a pretty little thot
Should I hit or maybe not?
I'll ask her quick just for the plot
She said no I had to go
Didn't even want that ho
FYI just so you know
Your ass smell like salmon roe (Rock You!)
Yes I'm a virgin but I don't care
Did you know one time I burnt my hair
I kinda wanna smash but I act so reckless
But sex will never happen 'cause I'm certified sexless
Yes I eat tacos 'cause they taste good
I eat them every day, they're tasty
I wanna mush butts for my love is infectious
But you already know that I'm certified sexless
Cer-tified
I don't want celibacy
Cer-tified
I still have my purity
Cer-tified
Didn't need this chastity
Cer-tified
I'm a king of virginity (Stand up)
Credits
Writer(s): Leviathan Wheelhouse
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
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