Alberta

Well Alberta, she was a true miracle child
Her first cradle was a shoebox cause they didn't come that small
Born in Bracken County in the Bluegrass State
She was tenacious as hell until her dying day

At 90 years young she'd still mow her own lawn
At least until that spark plug was stolen by Don
He was trying to spare his momma from breaking her back
Ah but she wouldn't have it, she was tougher than that

Alberta, noble and bright
Alberta, had that Scotch-Irish bite
Everybody always knew she'd be okay
And when her name's spoken
There ain't a bad thing to say

Now Alberta, she loved a good wrestling show
Her patron saint was Hogan
Saw every shirt he tore
One time he got injured and was laid up in bed
She stopped and wrote him a letter
Got that hulk going again

Now nobody was sure just what year that she was born
Was it 1902 or 1901?
But she always said she'd live a hundred years
And that's just what she did
Giving the finger to her fears

Alberta, noble and bright
Alberta, had that Scotch-Irish bite
Everybody always knew she'd be okay
And when her name's spoken
There ain't a bad thing to say

And her legend lives on till this very day