journal entry
January 5th, 2020
Welcome to the new decade
I fell apart on a tour
I couldn't see
My body forced me to sleep
Out of fear of rejection and this quick commitment
I had a crazy craniosacral session where I felt
Like my body is mine for the first time
I started showering at their place
I bought a bike
I've needed so much soothing and protection
And now, physically ill, I see how hard I've been trying
Starting my first actual relationship with two people at once
Joining a family
Starting a family
Wanting a baby
Wanting love and joy and comfort
And pushing through my cravings for suffering
It's like I need to be sick to justify being so happy with my partners
My boyfriend and girlfriend
I am a girlfriend
I am a double girlfriend
Even as I lay in pain, ridiculing the folds of my brain
I find their arms a source of pride
Held on by the magic of a witch and the sweetness of a giant
It's gentle and warm
Though I sweat
Welcome to the new decade
I fell apart on a tour
I couldn't see
My body forced me to sleep
Out of fear of rejection and this quick commitment
I had a crazy craniosacral session where I felt
Like my body is mine for the first time
I started showering at their place
I bought a bike
I've needed so much soothing and protection
And now, physically ill, I see how hard I've been trying
Starting my first actual relationship with two people at once
Joining a family
Starting a family
Wanting a baby
Wanting love and joy and comfort
And pushing through my cravings for suffering
It's like I need to be sick to justify being so happy with my partners
My boyfriend and girlfriend
I am a girlfriend
I am a double girlfriend
Even as I lay in pain, ridiculing the folds of my brain
I find their arms a source of pride
Held on by the magic of a witch and the sweetness of a giant
It's gentle and warm
Though I sweat
Credits
Writer(s): Elizabeth Wilson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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