Heavy

I don't say much but I hold a lot
Cooped up in this melting pot
In these tough times, give it all I got
Still come short, really says a lot
Try being strong for everybody else
When the strength you give is all you have left
Every good time turned memories
So I'm going numb to not feel a thing
It's like I ran straight into a brick wall
Shattered dreams never fall through
Then depression and anxiety, I wish nobody else get exposed to
Then your close friends turn they back on you
The only person you use to talk to
Is now gone
Amazing grace was the one I called Black Rose
On the road to a place I ain't never been
This year far from eloquent
I'm tired of getting fucked, I'm turning celibate
This part two to my sick and tired
Torn apart is how I feel inside
Dread to do it, so I push aside
So I write it out, just to clear my mind
Closed thoughts I don't need that
Life's short, proven fact
It's difficult when you see it close
Looking in the mirror like you seen a ghost
Unrecognized but you're right there
Close calls had my life spared
Fall asleep driving at the wheel
Then woke up 'cause Jesus took the wheel
Twice I ain't going for a third but I heard it's a charm
All my life I been acting so calm
Letting people get the best of me
Holding in all this misery
Now it's game over, take a knee 'cause it's heavy

All the stuff I'm holding on to getting heavy
All this weight on my shoulders, it gets so heavy
So much pain in my heart, it's getting heavy
It's heavy
It's heavy
All the stuff I'm holding on to getting heavy
All this weight on my shoulders, it gets so heavy
So much pain in my heart, it's getting heavy
It got me so, it got me so, it got me feeling heavy

I'm like a closed book, you can't read a page
No introduction or preface, just a bookmark with a blank page
Sometimes I feel alone
In a world where I don't belong
These cuts get deeper
But these bandages don't heal them all
So I smile first and keep my head up
Never ask for shit or a favor
Immune to the life vaccinating it
Getting slapped boxed by this karma bitch
Weather storms without a raincoat
So I cope with it, feel so so
But what's right turns into a no no
Like a private message and a photo
Been through so much that it's better for me just to leave it there
Bullshit, seen it everywhere
Try to leave it behind, it'll beat you there
To the grave Imma take it
But I pray like hell that I'll make it
These goals and dreams that I'm chasing
Keeping me holding on, but I'm bracing
Same shit just a different day
Everyday there's a price to pay
Like expensive taste that you can't afford
It's hard to love yours, when they love yours
I'm so tired
Of letting people get the best of me
Holding in all this misery
Now it's game over, take a knee 'cause it's heavy

All the stuff I'm holding on to getting heavy
All this weight on my shoulders, it gets so heavy
So much pain in my heart, it's getting heavy
It's heavy
It's heavy
All the stuff I'm holding on to getting heavy
All this weight on my shoulders, it gets so heavy
So much pain in my heart, it's getting heavy
It got me so, it got me so, it got me feeling heavy