The Kickstarter Pitch

Hi! I'm Dizzy Roseblade, I'm a rapper
A little help's what I'm after
See, I have an idea that might be a pretty cool thing to see
If I can talk you into helping me unpack it
Cuz I been playing D&D since I was introduced to it in BSA
The older kids invited me to play
I rolled a Nat 20, and from that day it was in my DNA
And then I went and got my BFA
I picked filmmaking and played it with the college crew
DMing in dormitories, all across the quad they knew
"That guy is a sick rapper
And he runs a modded brew of 3.5e, Vampire, and Godfather II"
By now it should be obvious I'm qualified
I got all the requisite knowledge or I would not apply
My rules are modified, my bars are optimized
I'm hotter than any other artist on your Spotify, bottom line?
I'm the guy! Running a nerdier rap past you
D&D on a beat? You ain't heard it like that, have you?
Serving a track packed to the dirt from the grass thatch roof
With narrative inherent you're certain to clap back to
Now what I'm looking for in terms of help
Is just a little bit of currency you've earned yourself
Now don't gimme your last dollar and hurt your health
But if you can, what I'm giving when returns are dealt is

One CD
Ten tracks on it
Two videos
Going max on 'em
Plenty sick rhymes
No hacks, honest
Just laying it down like an attack chopper

Back on the air again, bringing in the narrative
Hanging at the Inn, and getting kicked out of there again
Me and my barbarian, the wizard and the cleric and the rogue
The fighter, the druid, and the monk are wearing thin
Now we're on a tear and getting into more embarrassing scenarios
Numbers on our heads, like a cemetery stone
Took a tall order, met the mayor at home
And he said a great evil was coming out the Menzoberran-zone
Even the sheriff's own team ain't a match for it
And maybe it was the drinking
But the exact course of events around us taking that contract order
Led me to thinking there was a trap for us
We bought a pack horse, a couple of ponies, a cart
A full month of supplies, and that's only to start
We got a barrel of oil to use below in the 'Dark
Or if it goes real bad, we could blow it apart
We got our bows tuned up and repaired our blades
Refilled on ammo, the Cleric prayed
We grabbed hemp rope and checked our carry weight
And then we hired us a Bard who could narrate the

One CD
Ten tracks on it
Two videos
Going max on 'em
Plenty sick rhymes
No hacks, honest
Just laying it down like an Attack Of Opportunity

The crew is in the Underdark, something's off
I figured at least, we'd be dealing with a couple guards
I don't wanna jinx it, but no one's throwing up alarms
I'm getting a feeling like... (mystery noises)
"Did yinz hear that?"
All of a sudden, it's a pincer attack!
Six drow swing down and we're quick to react
We all pull blades and to keep the Wizard intact
The Monk and the Druid tag-team getting her back
Two drow put their hands up and they demand
To speak with whoever in the crew can understand them
I step forward and lower my crossbow
And I go into Boss Mode with an over-the-top look and manner
I tell them
"State your business, we're not in the mood to be faced with this
It should be obvious-"
Dude cut me off with a ruby, offered it to me
And told me his clan were not to be looted
I asked what he meant, he looked dead sure
He said "The mayor told me there would be collectors
And either we could fight or we could flee the dread curse!"
And if you don't want this scene to end, there's

One CD
Great mix on it
Two videos
Real Quixotic
Plenty sick rhymes
No risk, honest
All I need is your help, here in the Kickstarter