LIFE OF A NARCISSIST

What if I told you, I was the best
What if I told you I'm the goat
And that no one could come even close to anything that I could muster
'Cause they too lackluster

Anything I have written
Anything that I spit
Anything that I've thought
Everything that I live is statement of how I've gotten this far, 'cause I've been driven
It's hard, but now it's vivid
I'm gone, I'll push the limit

And I know deep down that I determine my self-worth
I swear to up above it's a blessing and it's a curse
The demons got hold on me, when they tellin' me I ain't first
But no one's controlling me but my inflated self-worth

I ain't addicted to profit
Ain't addicted to drugs
I'm addicted to compliments
I'm addicted to love
And I'll get it at any costs, even if it's from myself
Sometimes when I'm alone, feel like I'm sinking close to hell
I feel like, I'm a mass manipulator without trying
Like I'm toxic from the root in my subconscious mind
Seems like every other week somebody else dying
But who care about 'em if they ain't high as I am

When I step inside the room, always so fresh,
You can tell right off the bat that I'm the best just how I dress
An image to put up inside ya' head
Get the best version of myself out before I'm dead, uh

And I'm sorry I'm a narcissist
But somebody need to point me where the carpet is
You can whine and just complain you ain't a part of this
But in the end, no you ain't the one who started this, huh

Sorry I'm a narcissist
S-Sorry I'm a narcisi-i-i-i-i-
Sorry I'm a narcissist
S-Sorry I'm a narcisi-i-i-i-i-

And I'm sorry I'm a narcissist
But nobody gonna tell me when we are dismissed
Better watch ya' tone when you start a argument
I'ma put you right in line so you can park ya' Benz
Get the check and I be technical
Nine times out of ten
And I'm ready to go and win
It's another day in the pen
'Nother day in the cage
Cage of my inner demons who tell me I'm so great
And I know my mind can't be changed
When my inner-most sense of respect for myself it is critical
They tell me I'm just typical
But I don't like to hear it though
I know deep down that I should take it to heart
But ain't nobody changing me when I'm just playing my part
And I'm staying doing things to other people that is awful
It's unlawful for me to not just get a call from
Any shorty that can catch them a hotdog
between they buns, it's a mouthful
Swear these shawties playing dodgeball
Talk 'bout getting checks
Why I ain't got that already
If your shawty sent a text
She ain't ya' shawty, I bet she
Wanna talk to every guy
Who was a rapper a thirteen
And is beating all the odds with his own name on his jersey-
Mikes, prefer my Mics without Ikes
Lysol wipes, on me before I views my likes
There's like ten, hold up I thought my clout was better than
Any rapper, what you tellin' me? I ain't better than them?
"Nah you ain't
Ya' flow it is basic, it's plain lame
Get a job and stop trying to rap just so you make bank"
I ain't gotta say nothing to prove to you I am a great
But I'm going to anyway, I'm too self conscious to think
Rhymes with no cause
Lyrics with no bars
It's a staple for my music when I'm trying way too hard
I feel like as a white 'burban I got something to prove
Play this song up in the club and bet nobody gon' move
And when somebody tell me they don't like what I do
I ask em, "Why" and ain't no reason they can ever give you
But it still be getting to me, my emotions heavy too
And I be talking to myself when I'm alone in the room, uh

What you say that you're a narcissist?
Sick of all these petty monologic arguments
Oh you down on yourself, think you targeted?
Take a step up to the throne, chaotic arsonist
Hell yeah, you a narcissist
Love yourself, 'cause nobody else'll offer this
You a great and ain't nobody else on top of this
Take a step up to your throne, chaotic arsonist

Snap ya' fingers, I'm awake, and I'm out my head
All these listeners be fake, just get back to bed
Go to sleep, you ain't waiting on my drop to peep
But when this drops I got a feeling they'll jump out the sheets
They'll go buzz my phone
Won't leave me alone
But thank God I love attention or else I'd never be home
And ain't working on this music by my own self taught
And now I'm thinking is that why I'm doing this at all?
Why am I try'na please like everyone that I meet?
Am I that starved for attention that is all I can see?
Shake the thought away, so maybe I'll get some sleep
But now I can't get out my head with all these rhymes of poetry
I'm just waiting on them to notice me
Posted up with soldiers deep
Homies left and right, I keep em close with me
Keep 'em hungry on these hills, just like Cole would be
And now my inner demons try'na keep my soul from peace
Post some heat
Clowned by some homies who ain't notice me
And claim they music is the best thing over me
Maybe they're narcissistic too, so I can't hold no beef
I show the streets
How I'm putting on, on these songs
How I'm mentally unfit, to sit atop of the throne
How I'm better than best, 'cause that's the way that I think
Ain't no changing me, I'm switching up right at the blink