Grieving

I'm not in the mood to pick up the phone
I'll just clench my fist and let out a moan
pick up a bottle from the floor
and realize that what's empty is my soul

it's been so long since I'm feeling this way
but I've been telling my friends that I'm a-ok
might have even fooled a part of myself
but I see no mask on my face today

It's not worth living anymore
If I can't find what I've ignored
A bit of truth in what I fight for
It's not worth fighting anymore
Being pulled downwards I adore
Rather leave with joy than stay here grieving

the books I've read, the movies I've seen
Don't make the difference between you and me
I've been buried alive under wealth and good thoughts
You were given a shovel girl, what are the odds?

I've been thinking about this for a couple weeks
Gotta make a change gotta kill myself so to speak
But the sun's here
won't let me fear
the things I'm sure I have to do

And When melancholy's not enough
Wonder if I've been marked from the start
And get some comfort in being broken
So I'll keep on fearing the unknown
You see, goodbye's a dangerous word
Rather leave with joy than stay here grieving



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