Altima

Can you call me somebody that you care about
It won't help reassure my nervous bouts
It's just one month out of the rest of my life
So why's it feel like I'm destroying everything my

Every line I write down is one stanza too long
And it's all derivative of another song
I sometimes find myself surprised with how much i
Can say, without saying anything at all

I'm forming a parasocial relationship with the imaginary version of myself
And when I fall asleep, the chirping of the birds fills the background
And I'm okay
Because it feels
So good
To be
With you
And I'm
So fucked
Because it's not real

And I'm so scared when I say it, it'll come out wrong
Because I'm so predictably awful, I'm the worst

I breakdown when plates break, I can't handle my own face

I know it's not attractive to whine on a song that
Somebody's bound to hear at some point
But, I'm a huge pathetic mess right now and
I don't really know what else to do
I can sing a little and
I can cook a little but
I'm not very good at either

And trapped in my own
Awareness that I'm not gonna die soon
I wanna say

Life's too long to waste it
Doing anything
At all

What if I'm
Stuck outside
The place I need to be
I hate that
I'm a crime
I shouldn't even have been born at all
Outside in the hot car waiting
Like a dog in a hot car waiting
Outside in the hot car waiting
Like a dog in a hot car waiting

How am I supposed to live on my own
When I can't even live with myself?
A constant bombardment of feelings
I wish that I was a better piece of shit