GUNHILL

Gunhill is the first home that I ever knew
Go shopping on Jerome on the avenue
Looking up to the big kids always coming thru
Staying up on the weekends playing ps2
Who knew
That everything was gonna fall thru
I wish that it never came true
But it did
And now I'm hanging on a noose

I feel like I got nothing else to lose

I never thought that I would have to choose

Gunhill was the first home that I had room
Had a dog and a fish tank w a turtle too
Staying up w the grown ups dancing for the crew
Felt love right between us fore i ever knew
The real you
Over time a new dude coming thru
Dad left nothing else to lose
We out and now we always on the move

Catch the next flight
Gone
O towns where I'm moving on
Everything was kool when I was young
Coz jay was like my cousin he would always make me strong
He never did me wrong

Share one roof 4 rooms never had a lawn
I was always drawn to the lyrics of a song
But I gained a taste for music he's the one who put me on

I was like 6
He was like 12
And when shit got deep he knew how i felt

Two kids
Living w their stepfathers
Who don't give a fuck about em
Prolly wish that they were dead

Hanging on a thread
Living like we're neighbors imma stay w him instead
Toys all on the bed making stories from our heads
But we had to grow up til the day we met again

When my brother came
That's when things changed
Rearranged everything seemed out of frame
Never thought that I would see the light of day
Outcasted cast a light on my mistakes
Love the kid but I always felt out of place
Had a demon at the crib and he is an ace

Smoke without a trace just to dip to outer space tell my brother that I love him but I had to change my fate

His father in my face
Coming w some hate
Always on the fly
Coz my mom would rather lie
Talking to some other guys
He would Take it out on me Never knew the reason why
Til I read between the lines
My dad is who she talking to, He's the secret guy
Often tried to hide the burn marks on my spine
Til the day I couldn't take it i broke down and I cried
I was in the Y
CPS was at the door tryna come inside
Tryna find the story out my parents said I lied
Then Gil said my mom is crying I'm the reason why

I would never forget it
I knew I wasn't wrong but i also knew I was reckless
I tried to runaway but I knew that I would regret it
I had no money saved and I had no place I was headed

I used to have a home
But now its a memory
I wish that I could go back
And see the things I'm forgetting

I'm back to losing my shit
Back to packing the bowl
Going heavy w spliffs
Got me feening for more
Funny
A home that never was
I can see it vividly but I think that I made it up
no one left to trust
Maybe I should look to god
Always on the hush
Found it rather odd

It is written in the stars
Fuck the diamonds and the cars
I just want a piece of mind
And a home for all of mines
And I just wanna be

More than just fine

I ain't perfect but I'm worth it
I'm just looking for a sign

I don't know
Wheres my home

But I'm just looking for a way up
I know that we got no way
To get up out of this place
And I just hope that you're safe
I pray that you be okay
And you just give me my space
Coz I know that you and i
Could never see eye to eye
But know that I still love you
Even tho you hurt me too
Sorry I couldn't stay true
Everything we put us through
I hope that you living well
W ya husband from hell
And ya family nice
Go on without me.