4give Yourself

I said I'm sorry I hope than I'm forgiven
I did a lotta things that's the reason my heart is heavy
I'm asking for forgiveness from myself, I'm hurting
I don't blame nobody but me, I know it's crazy

I missed out on a lot because my mind is over thinking
And my mind is pessimistic and my heart don't want a keeper
I don't really trust nobody coz this world is really evil
I keep thinking bout the people, what they go say if I'm bleeding
Trust issues, got me thinking, everyone got bad intentions
I got pride, I hate regret, before they hurt me, let me hurt em

Different day, different bitch, get respected in street
I don't care about my soul, I want somebody in my sheets

But...
Sex is deep it's sacred and it's very serious
Soul bonding with bitches now I'm fighting their demons
I can't even recognize who I see mirror
My soul is restless fighting things I can't never mention
Not that I'm ashamed, I really don't know what's Henninin
I really wish I find the answers to the things I'm facing
Sometimes I wonder how the fuck I get into depression
Because I'm happy I'm content, but something is missing

I feel happy, I feel mad, feel angry, feel sad
Mixed emotions in a minute what the fuck you call that?
Then I noticed ohh man I lost a part myself
To the walls of the pussies of pretty girls in my bed

I know a girl, who got raped man it's all sad
She was fighting so hard while this nigga is forcing himself
She don't understand how the fuck she enjoyed the sex
It was supposed to be painful but she enjoyed instead

She really had an orgasm, she don't know how it happened
Her body really betrayed her
She's traumatised and she's hurting
She feels dirty and most of all can't forgive herself
How can she fight and then let her body react like that

Somethings don't make no sense beyond control sis
Forced orgasm is something you can't control sis
Please forgive yourself for the things you don't know
Because you feeling like you are somebody that you don't really know
People are fucked up, 2 faced, fuckin animals
You can't even talk to nobody can't your Justice
Somethings we can never change but for what it's worth
I know you been through a lot, but at least forgive yourself

20 Whole summers I lived judging my past
20 Whole summers I spent having regrets
20 Whole winters experiencing the bad
20 Whole winters I really hated myself

But...
I said I'm sorry I hope that I'm forgiven
All the things I did can never be changed but really
We can learn a lot from all the mistakes that we making
Be the better people for ourselves and our families
Either way, ain't nobody got a manual of this life
How to live and don't get got
Ain't nobody is a saint
But everybody got a heart, meaning everybody love, meaning everything is love
Meaning you deserve the love