i want to see my friends

We still haven't spoken and
I'm more than confident I know what
What makes me agonize about this
Dead silence humming on the line
Got me fucked up feeling like
Why

I'm unsure who's been to blame but
I should have been in touch by now
I wait with worthless wishes that
Maybe our lives will align sometime soon
We only make time to reply
To imply that we're in missing moods
And every time we make plans
Then cancel, rephrase and recycle
Through phases where we just assume
You must be busy
Won't hurt to try again
It doesn't hurt

So reach out your feeble feelers
Challenge cyberspace attention stealers
Play the platforms you dearly despise
Try to scale transmission towers
Could be comrades in our darkest hours
Keep your wordplay on the lighter side
Dare I disturb thee, universal yearning
All we need is
Nevermind

Where did I begin with this resentment
Disconnected, discontented
Forging unrequited versions of us who
Brokered every faking moment into blackmail
Strapped some switchblades to my coattails
And now serve each spiteful sentence that I spew
Say what you mean, you coward
We're fractured and split across too many landscapes
In each one we bleed different blues
That's not tragedy, that's just the truth
And maybe that will change
Oh God
Sometime soon

We'll go beyond 2D, and that's so scary
Especially now I realize
You mean some shit to me
For once, my words won't be
So fake and so empty
Instead of thousands re-deleted
I'll use
And now I've said my piece, and I'm so relieved
Although this stupid fucking song won't solve a goddamn thing
The music's why I breathe
So when it's time to sleep
I feel the sadness closing in so quickly
Maybe you can help me
Maybe you can help me
Maybe you can help me
All we need is company
That's just how we s'posed to be

I've been barely coherent
Lost all of my confidence
And no one exists
Outside is an illusion
There is only lonely loneliness
Not a whisper you could miss
My body is failing
The night is prevailing
Maladaptive insides make me writhe upon my sickbed
How could you have abandoned me
Unknowingly

Nothing mentioned, nothing feigned
Tactics to keep heart's length away
Maybe there's cruelty in that
Well, who the fuck am I to ask
I know I do just the same
Embracing parasocial shame
Pretend it's good enough for me
Cause typing words is too easy
I can't force you to engage
I'll just lament lost time and space
And wonder why I wanted to
Share my distress yet never do
Been marooned out on the sands
Nothing but hours on my hands
Resent your profile picture face
No bullshit image could replace you