Hopeless

Once upon a time
There was kid named Jordan
Never had a reason to live
Just trying to die off the drugs that he did

Hoping that no one would notice
Showing his pain in a way he was coping
Trying to deal with being neglected
But in the end it was hopeless

Walking the streets, I was 14
With a couple bags, stacked it was so cheap
With help from a friend of my mother
Sometimes I was able to eat

My mum was working two jobs
She never had the time to feed me
But how could I blame her for that
The role as a single parent's not easy

17 and still selling drugs
Out on the road
I had nothing tucked
Moved house 6 times in the first year
First time that I've felt like a junkie

Then I met this girl and we were together for 3 years
Aborted our first kid
Miscarried the second
Of course I still shed tears

I picture it vividly
Seeing my boy in some little jeans
Or seeing my daughter it's killing me
Holding their hands man these thoughts get the best of me

Man I can't get it out
All the weight on my shoulders it's holding me down
Holding me back from the person I am
But I can't get away from the guilt and the doubt

Around 6 months later
My brother Lewis lost his life
At this point man I'm fucked up
Need someone to come take mine

Cause I didn't wanna live anymore
Didn't wanna deal with the pain in my core
Bottling every emotion then closing the lid
But I'm over the darkness within

Then on the night of my 21st
A girl from my past
My high school crush
Came back into my life
And showed me the reason we fell in love

But I know I'm alone now
But I still Thankyou for everything
I'm sorry if I ever treated you wrong
I was committed to you like a wedding ring

Now I'm 23
Jumped on a mic, and moved to the GC
But I don't forget where I came from
And I can't forget what I've seen

But I'm trying my hardest
Every part of me is feeling lethargic
Drowning my soul in a carton
To fade away from everything that I've started

Once upon a time
There was kid named Jordan
Never had a reason to live
Just trying to die off the drugs that he did

Hoping that no one would notice
Showing his pain in a way he was coping
Trying to deal with being neglected
But in the end it was hopeless



Credits
Writer(s): Jordan Mills
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

Link