Trizzy Dangerfield (No Respect)

This rap game is rough I tell ya
I get no respect ya know?
No respect
A & R's man?
That's what A-n-R stands for you ya know?
You think you're about to get signed but "actually nigga, rejection"
I'm so used to rejection even my yo-yo won't come back
Speaking of rejection, let me tell you about my girl

Made a deal with my girl we'd only smoke after sex
I've had the same pack since '06
But what's really bothering me about the shit
She's up to three packs a day
This bitch

Think she's cheating on me
Know how I know?
I come home the parrot always like "quick out the window!"
And now I know she's faking orgasms low-key
Yeah four of my friends just told me

One night she met me at the door, lingerie on
Only problem is she was coming home
She likes to talk during sex as well
Last night she called me from the motel

Other day some other motherfucker came a-knocking
And she told me to go hide in the closet
My wedding day - that was a humdinger
Went to place to ring and she gave me the wrong finger

My girl old too if you believe it
When she was born Dead Sea wasn't even sick
Big girl, and ain't nothing wrong with that
Strike oil when she wears heels instead of flats

Big girl, yeah I tell ya folks
Met her at the Macy's parade, she was wearing ropes
She was alone on the street, I'm not making it up
A cop came by and told her to break it up

My girl ugly too - on our first date
Took her to the beach and they asked me what I used for bait
So if she turn me down for sex she always thinks twice
Once in the morning, then again at night

I grew up so poor when my rich uncle died
They read the will and it said I owed that nigga five
I had to share a bed with so many kids it was scary
Never even slept alone 'til I got married

My neighborhood was rough you understand me?
One day I heard a knock at the door randomly
Figured I'd play it safe and go with plan B
Just opened the peephole - dude reached in a grabbed me

My apartment building's nothing but robberies man
Every time I close a window I hit somebody's hand
They saying it's a children's zoo around the way
But last week I heard four of the kids escaped

I asked a cop "how long a walk to the subway?"
He said "I dunno, so far nobody made it all the way"
My pops didn't like me, wasn't a friend
Told me to start at the bottom when he taught me to swim

I mean he took me to the zoo a lot
Told me to go to the leopards and play connect the dots
He took me to the zoo like every day
Found out later he was tryna make a trade

Told moms I was gon' run away from home
She said "on your mark, get set go"
Parents got divorced, I got no luck
In the fight for custody of me nobody showed up

I'm telling you man, I was a ugly kid
Mom only kept the negatives of my pics
So ugly my dog found out we look alike
That night he committed suicide

Told the doc I wanna get a vasectomy
He said a face like mine it's a non-necessity
I figured out women, know how to make 'em say "yes"
Just be like, "ay am I bothering you sis?"

Nah, with women I can hold my own I'm telling you
'Cause that's usually what they tell me to do
I even tried fucking a inflatable shorty
Now it's some inflatable dude looking for me

Respect, it's the one thing I never get
Surgeon general be tryna sell me cigarettes
Got Chinese food, see what my fortune cookie's telling me
It's just a check for the dude sitting next to me

I said "hey I got your check homie"
He looked at me and said "thanks bro, respect homie!"
I was once in a pool like "help I'm 'bout to drown"
Lifeguard ran over like "keep it down!"

When I was born, doc smacked me to see I wasn't frozen
But then I heard the nurse got a couple of blows in
I had no friends, no one to call brother
To seesaw I ran from one end to the other