Wish I Had

Back then I didn't see the deep end
Or just how paper-thin the ice is
Outside of my car
I only see you on the weekends
Feel the cold breeze of the season
Beat against the trees are leafless
Bit of freeze put them to sleeping
Snow is sorted into evening

Texting me asking to meet up
No I can't but please I need it
So apart we fall asleep, and I can't even keep my
Eyes shut for moments alone
It's time spent that I could've done
My part to carry the load
But I didn't know, no I didn't know

I wish I had gone with that
Wish I had tunneled out the snow and met you making warmer words
Instead I just paused
Oh I wish I had gone
Wish I had the memory to keep me hanging on
Unless it's better I forgot
I think it's better I forgot

Bottle it up and swallow it down
When it comes around in waves I drown
Keeping thoughts of it away I found
Is the only way of staying sane- I don't

Know a single other person who can always push my buttons
Send me flying with a smirk and nothing else
But you can't try to make it work so leave me lying if there's mercy
In the hearse he drove in again getting a flat
Worst part is I still think back
No the worst part is the fall, it's cold outside I guess I couldn't cut it

I wish I had gone with that
Wish I had tunneled out the snow and met you making warmer words
Instead I just paused
Oh I wish I had gone
Wish I had the memory to keep me hanging on
Unless it's better I forgot
I think it's better I forgot

I feel so bad, I've been shaken again, I won't lie
I knew that we'd have a terrible end, the second time
But I couldn't help myself anyway, you decide to kill
Just tell me where to put the knife

Just tell me where to put the knife

I wish I had gone with that
Wish I had tunneled out the snow and met you making warmer words
Instead I just paused
Oh I wish I had gone
Wish I had the memory to keep me hanging on
Unless it's better I forgot
I think it's better I forgot