Capital a (Fuzzy)

It starts when the habit breaks
When you notice you're less afraid
Put what happened into words
End the hope genocide in your brain

I know it wasn't all your fault
But you harbored so much pain
I don't think I could do it twice
I came too close to a big mistake

And it started to turn to a memory on the wall
But a little distance only masks the scars
And it's not like I wanna be bitter at all
But a capital A seems to fit the mark
I used to wanna burn all these feelings
But I know they're trying to protect me
You could say I was a coward
But I was just so fucking afraid

I didn't notice till I said it out loud
Gave a voice to reality
I carried it every night
Too afraid to touch anything
But you never wanted this
This love facsimile
And it's so hard to talk about
If I wanna be done

But some bullshit never sat right with me
I should've never been so lovesick that I let you lay your hands on me
But I just wanted possibility
I just wanted someone who wouldn't hurt me

You were always embarrassed by me

I know that you're doing fine
The world needs a voice that's more like yours
More than it needs mine

I buried it in guitar

And this is the last one I'll write
I swear