Jetsam

Flashback to failures I've forgotten
Better now I ought to know
Holding tight to things that feel like falling
Trying to keep it all intact until the will comes back

Flash floods and trials up on the TV
History can't hurt me, though
Hope dies last and severed from the past
I'll make my little life a boat
For every man must float to his own relative shore

But tonight I feel uneasy
Dread an itch beneath my collar
I can bear these hopes so heavy
But they're jetsam if they hit the water
I shouldn't miss what was never mine

Half-price on moderate ambitions
Silly that I wished for more
Home comes calling
Which seat will I fall in when the music stops
And whose hand do I hope to hold?

Have at me, I'm out of excuses
Sit me down, I'll do this cold
Hoarding phrases and justifications
Everything I saved them for is already overboard
And I'm rowing out to shore

But tonight I feel uneasy
Dread an itch beneath my collar
I can bear these hopes so heavy
But they're jetsam if they hit the water
I feel guilty all the time

I'll bury sticks and stones
And if they come for me
I'll lie there on the shore
In their company
I'll want for nothing more

But tonight I feel unsteady
Dread an itch beneath my collar
I can bear these hopes so heavy
But they're jetsam if they hit the water
I know better, I know

Fast clocks, the shit that people talk
The limits that were self-imposed
My god I'm barely strong enough for all the kinds of love I'm carrying home
And tomorrow these words will fall apart, all grandiose and dark, I know
Hold me to it, salvage all my ruins
Better though I ought to know