The Letter

Hello, I'm sorry for not writing before
But I'm hurting me to think of you
I'm older and stronger but still, I find myself
Leaning on your shoulders, peeking over boulders
People say to pick and choose what it is that I do
I say that's not for me, that's just how it is for you
Now storm clouds hovering over my head
Still, my sun is shining through
I've run questions again and again
Over and over, racking my brain

Is it breakfast if you haven't slept in a week?
Are my eyes wet if I haven't wept?
If it's raining why is the sun shining through?
Is a thought the same if I've thought it twice?

I've been struggling for so long trying to understand
Listening to the sounds of my own voice talking
It is hard for me to stand when I cannot even kneel
Now I'm left wondering if you were even real
Longer and longer now time has run while
Still I stay
Stuck in the past
It's hurting me to think, to speak of you still
I've run questions again and again

Is my head spinning because the world is turning?
Does a sunset have color it I catch it black and white?
Are goodbyes good if they mean goodbye?
Is my song still good if I wrote it high?

Now I'm practicing speaking in words again
I'm learning just where I begin
This letter to myself or is it to you?
I trust I know when it is through