Thanks, But I Didn't Ask

One, Two
One, Two
This is how it starts

So you went on a gap year
And now you're back
Born again boring
And talking crap
Now you're woke to the maximum
In your Rasta hat
Telling me where I'm going wrong
And my response to that
Yeah thanks, but I didn't ask

Stroked a tiger, went pony trekking
I never asked
Did yoga on the beach, met the Inncas
I don't care
It was a period of particular personal growth for me and you know
I've come back and I can see life for how it really is
But you keep on
You should try it, get yourself out there
But you keep on and on and on and on and on
On and on and on and on and on
On and on and on and on and on
Where I'm going wrong

What have I been up to you ask
Well I've been on the sniff for the last year with a finger up my arse
Hear the birds morning song
Can't believe it's been all night long
What was supposed to be a quick Porn Hub rub and tug
Turned into a 365 day bender
Chopping a line with one hand
And jacking off with the other
Good times

Anyway back to your boring stories of enlightenment
Let me get horizonal
It sounds less journey into the unknown and more package tour
All about your Instagram and other ways to bore
Well it's not worth doing, if no-one sees you doing it
And as for the constant advice, you can bore off mate

Oh what happened after I sniffed through my savings
Well the missus found out that I spent the mortgage money on mucky websites and fucked off
After that I hit the cider pretty hard
Luckily it's a good buzz
Goes well with skunk

Yeah... Yeah, it's a good buzz... Yeah
Naughty office
That's a good buzz
Blacks on blondes
Yeah, a good buzz
Big cock hero
That's a good buzz
Bang bus,
That's a good buzz
Wives on vacation
Arrh, good buzz
Big sausage pizza
Good buzz
Fake Taxi
That's a good buzz
Naughty Nurse
I bet you wished you hadn't asked