Spite

Well, it's been a long time since you left
I've been thinking quite a lot about the things that you said
We were sitting on the beach talking about all you're regrets
I'll admit I was relieved when you didn't say this was one

And I know I'm much to restless
Reel in all my expectations
Work on building up my patience
Too much, it's too much
Too much

Is this progress
Are you happy
Are you focused
I am pissed off

You said why is that?
I hate that you asked
'Cus I haven't figured it out myself

And I'm standing in a boiling shower
Trying to slow my racing pulse
I try to breathe
But I can't seem
To stop my trembling hands from shaking

And I know it's been a while since I broke
I been thinking quite a lot about that time that we spoke
I was laying in my bed
Face first in my phone
When you told me over text
That you think you'd rather be alone

And I know I'm much to invested
Reel in my extensive second guessing
Forget my regrets
And finally go to sleep

But I am too fucking tired
To get into bed
So I am lying on the floor
On the carpet instead

I am buried in my phone
And the lives of my friends
I am marinating in nostalgia

There were thirty something people
A smoke filled room
And I was dodging conversations
While I stared at you

And you were caught up with your friends
But then you turned your head
And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away
And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away
And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away
And you smiled, discretely waved, then looked away

Is this progress
Are you happy
Are you focused
I am pissed off

I am pissed off