Chewing the Shadow

Judged myself for looking forward
To the smells of Autumn
But to judge is to deny the chance to be alive
So what have I been trying to be this whole time?

Spent the Summer killing fruit flies
Spent the Fall just digging graves
In the Winter we lament the light we never spent
So I hope come Spring, you won't find me nursing shade

Used to sing myself home from school
Used to sing myself to sleep
Now the sky is full of songs, constellations of our wrongs
And if you heard them all then you would surely weep

There are times when the Moon climbs slower
Than the bruises in the nail beds of my fingers
This is when I come alive
This is when I fill with light
This is when I am not the singer
This is when I learn to linger

I am listening in a different key
I am trying to teach my anger not to sing
From the telescope of years
From a mouthful of dead fears
I can see the shape of fallow from chewing on the shadow