Pain Party

You forgot all my birthdays
And I celebrated them in pain
I loved every inch of you
And I would never have changed you
You used to visit me at work
And barely remember two dates
Your messages come
But your feelings didn't

And I resisted
He will notice, I said
I had to accept your true nature
I suffer in silence at the parties
They were pain party
They were pain parties

I found you there
I would have preferred to die
To feel nothing
Cause you felt nothing

I wasn't the only one
And you laughed
When I felt that way
When I wrote the
First song I thought
Isn't it funny
Who will laugh now
But you didn't understand that I was talking about you
Your best friend wanted me by your side

And I resisted
He will notice, I said
I had to accept your true nature
I suffer in silence at the parties
They were pain party
They were pain parties

I found you there
I would have preferred to die
To feel nothing
Cause you felt nothing

To feel nothing
Cause you felt nothing

If I had accepted
Your rules
You would have choosing me
What a lie
Keep quiet
Smile at parties
Pain Party

I started into space
Lying in bed
Without sleeping
Sometimes I wonder
Will you think of me at your wedding
Will it be a pain party for your wife too

I am afraid
I'll never stop loving you
And I'll find
Myself at those parties again too

I told you I was
Devoted to you
You were disgusted by it
But how attracted we were
I bet you'll never find it again

And I resisted
He will notice, I said
I had to accept your true nature
I suffer in silence at the parties
They were pain party
They were pain parties

I found you there
I would have preferred to die
To feel nothing
Cause you felt nothing

And I am nothing
Why don't you feel nothing

I remember when I met you
The first time I didn't look someone in the face
Asking you if you have a girl
And the answer was no
It looked like heaven
It was the beginning of hell
I was completely exposed

At those parties
Am I nothing
Cause you're felt nothing
Cause you're felt nothing