S.O.S.

I don't even know if I'm here anymore
Like my body's here, but my spirit disappeared
I wish I could retrace my steps and place where I went wrong
(Please help me)
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone
Put me out my misery

I'm alive from where the drug addict won't survive
Never see 35, call me Jesus Blanco
Put a crown on it
Drink up all the Crown Royal and the Grey Goose Vodka
You know you hate life when you pray that you faint and remain unconscious
But you can't get the job done
Put a shotgun barrel to your face

What caused this?
It's my fault, it's always been that way
Since I was a kid, I always been a fuck up
Eavesdropping on my parents
Tryna to discuss what they could do to me
Ass whoopings haven't done much

Felt like God was a man with a giant ass dick
So I'm prayin' that I stop gettin' butt fucked
But I'm sayin' something different out loud
Really thinkin' he might punish me for sayin' all this fucked up

Thought I would grow up one day and show up
"Mom and dad, look, I'm not the loser you knew"
Got a deal when I turned 32
But they still feel embarrassed for the music I do
How I talk, how I dress, how they thought my success
Would be gone in a second, I'd screw it up too

Wish they never would've said that shit (You're right)
'Cause everything they assumed is comin' true
There were times when I blew all the money
And of course I could save, but I knew there was more to be made

Makin' sure that I take care of my homeboys in a hole
They were broke from the choices that they made
By now I should have like 400k in the bank
'Cause I'm free from my contract
But the money that I got to start a company was fronted
Didn't cover my recovery, I'm about to fail a drug test
Fuck this

I wish I could retrace my steps and place where I went wrong
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone

Put me out my misery
Sick of suffering
Feel like everyone I love has had enough of me
Put me out my misery
Sick of suffering
I'm ashamed 'cause who I am ain't who I wanna be

As a couple me and my lady lay in the covers, nothin' excites us
We used to look forward to eatin' gourmet foods
Stick a fork in the pie crust
Goin' to a shrink, keep it dumb
But he thinks I have been experimentin' on the drugs he prescribed us

I ain't feelin' great, disappear I may
Feel like someone put a deep incision in my brain
Puttin' knives in my eye balls
Right, get a eye shut, tryna move but I'm stuck
I done got so lazy, I don't bath, I just wipe up
I throw my phone, mine's on vibrate
Don't wanna hear how normal everyone is, I'm not

Wanna hop inside a ride and find a cliff to drive off
My car probably flip and hit a pine tree
Break the fall, paralyze me instead of dying
I will be alive still, kinda luck I got

"What's up, you're my guy, why you're so unhappy?"
One, I see a mirror, hate the person lookin' at me
Two, I hate my life, it's even worser bein' an addict
Three, I hold a grudge, I bet the Lord above is laughing

'Cause I made it rappin' after 20 years
When nobody cares about your music
And I'm sick of postin' hashtags
They don't buy your album either
Now you gotta talk to people actin' like you're happy
When you wanna take a trash bag
Put it on your head and hang a rope around a fixture

Still pissed I had to make my parents post a picture
In the living room beside my brother and my sister
Maybe they ashamed of me Knowin' that they kid sucked
And each day is a bitch just tryna stay sober

Nose gotta itch 'cause I sniffed drugs since '96
People think it's a cinch tryna quit
I would give my left nut just to get drunk
I should give up

I wish I could retrace my steps and place where I went wrong
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone

Put me out my misery
I'm sick of suffering
I feel like everyone I love has had enough of me
Put me out my misery
I'm sick of suffering
I'm ashamed 'cause who I am ain't who I wanna be, ah