Thinking About a Potentially Awkward Interaction with an Old Friend

I don't know when I will see you again
Don't know what it is now or if we're still friends
And I'm sure if we did we'd have so much to say
But we'd both be polite and then just walk away

'Cause I know we wouldn't like it
The pair of us reminded by the other of the worst we can be
All growth and shifting mindsets
Undone by seeing someone somehow immediately

Loving scenes played out in my head
All the things that you taught me and all the things that you said
So, to be honest, I've missed you, but I've pushed it away
Because the hurt that you've caused me sticks with me to this day

Well, memory's sure, they're precious, that's true
But I don't want to make any new ones with you
And I'm sure that it's mutual
To see you as I am now would just be unusual
It would be nice to underline it
I know we're both doing fine without the other in our life

And I would rather be lethargic than nostalgic
For a time when I liked myself less, which, sadly, you have come to represent
And I don't think my brain deserves it
To relive what I have left behind, but seeing you conjures most of time

Like fits of rage in the shower, getting drunk every hour
Becoming perfectly content with being someone you resent
And all the ways we felt we've never talked about
We just whispered all amongst our friends and now we're also losing touch with them

I don't know when I'll see you again
I know I don't want to, childhood friend
I give your actions more power, it's unfair but true
I just walk away, I like the distance from you
Yes, time away has taught me that I like this distance from you