Pennies

I'm an asshole
Who fell face first for a coal burning black hole
A broke neck ballerina
Who'd like to think she's got a cracked soul
Because the damage makes her deep
And so much wiser than the other sheep
But she lived a lie, and I never felt inclined to press or pry
That sweet disguise that led my eyes
To greener hills soaked through with pesticides
She tried to test my hide
But only fell back in with the rest of the dead domestic tide
So, she puts the joy right up her nose
And fades away with the desperate hive

And green's the only reason
She'd ever leave for clearer seasons
Pack up all her demons 'cuz she could never seem to leave 'em
She can see but don't believe 'em
Yet continues to feed 'em
So, with her wrists upturned
She takes a step towards her freedom
Sure, I'd be just as clueless if she ever came around
Forever sitting shoeless picking pennies off the ground
Forget the fear I found, there were diamonds in that frown
And someday she may feel inclined to turn them upside down
'Cuz I'd rip out the fucking stitches
And let her right back in again
That cut that stole my weakest wishes
And spit out all the bones

I find me wishing for another side
Some other cold, old shoulder that I could never tell a lie
She's got diamonds on the inside
You can see through her lips
The rest is straight coal despite the pressure she lives with
So go on look my way, see this sick twisted inner kid
See me drowning in the sauce
Far too deep to know what winter did
But there's nothing I could mend now and never remember
How she left me in the snow through that endless December

But it's quite clear I let her
Surely should have known better
So now I'm begging for scraps from a backwards table setter
The kind that could never stay
Never learn to love a filthy stray
So, all I do is drink her voice away
And feel sick for all my choices made
Then I give god a good look at the bottom of my whiskey
And curse the name of a girl who's bound to never miss me

And green's the only reason
She'd ever leave for clearer seasons
Pack up all her demons 'cuz she could never seem to leave 'em
She can see but don't believe them
Yet continues to feed 'em
So, with her wrists upturned
She takes a step towards her freedom
Sure, I'd be just as clueless if she ever came around
Forever sitting shoeless picking pennies off the ground
Forget the fear I found, there were diamonds in that frown
And someday she may feel inclined to turn them upside down
'Cuz I'd rip out the fucking stitches
And let her right back in again
That cut that stole my weakest wishes
And spit out all the bones