I

I'm so heavy loaded this pain I
Know, If I cry gon need a drain I
It's like, my heart aint even the same I
I wanna fly away in a plain I

I'm so heavy loaded this pain I
Know, If I cry gon need a drain I
It's like, my heart aint even the same I
I wanna fly away in a plain I

I be lost in my mind
For hours staring at walls
My daughter see
Than she kiss me
And say daddy what's wrong

Watched My momma loose her mind
Cuz she'd knew she'd die young
Now that feeling and paranoya
Is down deep in her son

I wanna, cry so bad
But im just too scared
Cuz i know, blood gon drip
And not no tears

Wish I could, go way back
To when ever it is
Before I, tried starting to fix my life
So I could live

This hard life took a toll on my soul
Look in the mirror, still young
But feel so old

Watched my Daddy shrug his shoulders
When they told him he'd die young
Now that feeling and exhaustion
Is down deep his son

And yeah really from the streets
Cuz i was sleeping on it
Foster family see im up
They loosing sleep about it

I try sleep longer, cuz memories
be creepin on me
But they wont try to understand
Or say just lean on me

In church talkin with my wife
Saying its been long while
And if theres some things I need to change
Then just, let it all out
But first chance people get
Laugh and rub it in my face
Instead of giving me respect
For my loyalty and faith

I'm so heavy loaded this pain I
Know, If I cry gon need a drain I
It's like, my heart aint even the same I
I wanna fly away in a plain I

I'm so heavy loaded this pain I
Know, If I cry gon need a drain I
It's like, my heart aint even the same I
I wanna fly away in a plain I

I got married so young
Cuz I love loyalty
7 Years later this mm saying she ain't in love me

It's like when you
Fight so hard and fight so long
And get no, rest
I'ts like all the lights go off

Always thought
Hate feed off hate
And love feed of love
But i see hate feed off love
And love feed off hate

My soul wont let me loose hope
Bones wont let me afraid
If somehow I slip back
Pray Christ can plead my case

I really wanna break down
And shed some tears
But I been saving it victory
So not down here

I know my wisdom shock em
Cuz I played dumb
Raised in the streets, so words from this tongue
Derived bums

Try to be like my daddy everyday
Cuz the good I heard about him
Saw my momma in dream
She said don't worry her

Cut off all my siblings
Cuz it's just really ain't the same
I promise them foster homes
Screwed up all of our brains

Growing up my stomach touch
Summer winter and fall
Stepped up for step kids
And said never nomore

And when i had my first son
Just knew we was family

Just crazy the one that sleep next to me
Tryin to make us what we ain't plan to be