Taking Lessons (Making Whoopee)

The modern family
Has time to burn.
We all take lessons,
We try to learn.
The latest new thing's
We never do things,
We just take lessons.

My daughter Linda,
She takes ballet.
Her first recital
Was yesterday.
She dropped her tutu
And her left shoe too.
She needs more lessons.

Then there's my daughter Dottie,
She takes guitar, that's true.
Junior, he takes karate.
Smashed her guitar in two.

For all these lessons,
I have to pay.
I must raise money.
I found a way.
Read my brochure folks,
Learn how to be poor folks.
I'm giving lessons.

Our brand new puppy,
His name is spot,
He's being house-trained,
Our rug is shot.
Our very best room
Became his restroom.
What good are lessons?

Tom studies driving,
He took a ride.
He saw two buses
Side by side.
He must have seen them,
He drove between them.
Does anybody wanna buy a long thin Mustang?

My wife takes cooking lessons.
So help me, she flunked poached egg.
I took one skiing lesson.
You're wrong folks - I broke my arm.

I called the doctor
In great despair.
But it was Wednesday,
He's never there.
He's on the links, folks.
His putting stinks, folks.
He's taking lessons.