Lobotomy

Ay, ay
Stuck with these images
Never had I envisioned this
Living life like it's business
Even if you could pillow this shot
The shock I'd still feel it hit
Digging into my filaments
Feeling this in my element
Energy oozing venomous
Arrogance in the flesh when I spit
They bow down their heads
If I find out you talking shit
Well make sure you're well hidden man
DJ spin it like ceiling fans
Let me turn them to silly fans
Been confirmed by your favorite rappers
I'm surely their favorite man
Went insane and came back, reality never the same
My trauma my pain
Embedded right into my veins, looking like its marbling
Wobbling with my feet
I ain't used to walking so consciously
Ever since I resurfaced
I've been wishing I stayed in the sea
Easily I could do it, but deep beneath all the music
It's who I've become that's dubious of whether this shit worth it or not
If this my purpose from God
Would I be having these thoughts
These curses only leave scars
Sorry but I'm no superstar, uh
Ain't looking for stardom
They be fucking with me for now but who knows for how long
I'm used to dropping albums but now it's only one track
Tryna keep my passion alive while balancing life I got no time for all that bullshit
Full clip on their heads
If verses bullets I ain't miss
Not even close to full potential
But still styling on these bitches
Different high, my shit hit different
This survival of the fittest
Overnight? Nah, this took years and I ain't shy about it
Bitch, but I don't try or need to flex as if I'm looking for attention
In fact it's the opposite, I'm good don't need an introduction
You can keep making assumptions
I'm so used to being judged by everyone
I've been a topic of discussion for years now
How I know this? Loyalty mean I got many ears around
People quick to switch up, that's why only trusting me now
Follow if you want, but I ain't waiting for no one
This lone wolf hunting for survival, you dogs hunting just for fun
And I ain't smiling when I succumb to the violence
If silence could speak it would be accompanied by her crying
The violin rest between her chin and cheek, it's mesmerizing
That piece she playing, I try retain the sound, but, oh, so fleeting
The moment leaves me, I'm left uneasy like stuck on an island
Don't mind me, I'd rather die than reach out for any kind of help
That's how I've dealt with things in my life, yeh, by myself
Nobody felt my pain since as long as I can remember
Instead they misunderstood and I let them believe they didn't
Tell them everything's all good when I realized they'd never get it
Dilation of the pupils, when they pretend to understand it
I ain't trying to impress or be impressed, just tryna vent
See back when I lost my head to the drugs
Those looks I got still haunt me
So whenever in public, don't be looking right at me
Forgotten memories under the rug
I'd pull the plug before I let any of them dissect me, uh